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notstudly
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Country: United States
State: Indiana
Metro: Valparaiso
Birthday: 9/10/1984
Gender: Male
Interests: I love watching movies, listening to music (especially Jazz), bourbon whiskey, and that racing feeling you get when you hold that special someone close to you and look deeply into their eyes.
Expertise: Musician for hire: I sing, dance, play most brass instruments, piano, and guitar. I am also a budding composer/songwriter. If you'd like to comission a work, shoot me an email and we'll discuss. My specialties are Praise and Worship songs, sappy love songs, and works for chamber groups.
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  spotty jonny
MSN: notstudly@hotmail.com
Member Since:
2/27/2005
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| Wow, so it's been a while. It's amazing how being gone all summer
can make you forget about things. This year has been interesting
to say the least. Things go better then worse better then worse
with girls, but that's always expected. I'm never quite sure what
to say to Caroline. I know she's not ever going to be happy with
me, which is why it's really weird that she's being so nice to me
lately. Whatever. I'm currently trying my hand at some
playwriting et cetera, so if anyone has some input, let me know. Story
ideas always accepted. It's 3:30am so I'm gonna crash.
Hopefully I'll remember to do this more often.
~JP~
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| Hi from the road! I'm on tour with the Madison Scouts, and I'm
having a blast! When I have a chance I'll post my rather sparsely
filled tour journal on here, but until then... Anyone who gets a chance
should come see a show! The schedule is on
www.madisonscouts.org. We rock this year!  Our drums
even beat Cavvies' Drums the other day! anyways, gotta
pack up once again.
~JP~
MYNWA
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| So, a lot has happened since I last posted, and to be quite honest, the
only way to look at it is with a sense of humor. I'm being
completely honest when I say I've done my best to stay as much out of
these problems as possible. I understand that Caroline hates me,
and that her friends hate me, and I guess I'm ok with that.
Caroline at least has every right to be upset with me. She tells
me that I've fucked her over pretty hardcore. I don't think
that's as true as she does, but either way, she has every reason to be
pissed at me. I've done my best to avoid her and make situations
as painless for us both as possible. She obviously thinks that I
have not chosen the best way to handle this, because she has done what
seems to be going out of her way to be in the same room as me, and as
dramatically as possible. The most recent instance speaks for
itself. This weekend, (it's early monday morning right now) on
friday afternoon, around 5 she IMed me. This was the first IM
I've received since she blocked me a month or so ago. She asked
me for her things back that she thought I had. Turns out I had
far fewer things than she thought I did, but that's neither here nor
there. She also asked me if I was leaving for Scouts Camp
soon. I was surprised, because my 2005 Madison Scouts Rehearsal
Camp isn't until next weekend. I told her I wasn't leaving
because camp was next weekend, and she just said, 'Oh.' I was out
for most of the evening, but when I came home, I walked into the
basement, and said something to the effect of "Hey Guys". This
would have been fine on any other night, but this night, Caroline and
her friend Ryan from Iowa were at the house so she could say her
goodbyes, and have one more night of partying before the reality of
home set in. Ryan saw me from across the room, and immediately
stood up and started walking toward me with murder in his eyes.
Bobby Koonce, (thank God for level headed friends) immediately grabbed
him by the shirt and sat him back down. Otherwise the basement
could have gotten quite messy. Ryan made it very clear right
then, and throughough his time in our house, that he had brawling in
mind. I guess I can't blame him, because Caroline is his best
friend. Regardless of what happened, I hurt her, and she's pissed
about that. She had obviously been talking to him, because he had
been IM stalking Katie Ho for over a month, and obviously only hearing
her frustrations and deflamations of my character. The only thing
I can fault him for is thinking it would be a good idea to come as a
guest to a fraternity house and then proceed to pick a fight with one
of the brothers. When I gave her things back, I made it known to
Caroline that I wasn't going to fight Ryan. If he wanted to beat
the shit out of me, I wouldn't fight back, but I also wouldn't stop my
brothers from beating him to a bloody pulp. Who comes to a
fraternity house and picks a fight with one of the brothers???
Caroline told me repeatedly that I fucked her over good, and Ryan
wasn't going to let that go. She told me that my brothers knew
what I did, and were against me with her. I don't know where she
got that idea, or what brothers she talks to, but I've talked to
everyone there that night, and I count something like 12 fists that
would have made sure unruly guests didn't get out of hand. If he
was really serious about hurting
me, he was given plenty of opportunities, but in the end, leveler, more
sober minds prevailed, and Bobby took him home. I can't believe
that Caroline left him in her dorm room and continued partying here at
the house after that. That just seems like a seriously shitty
thing to do to a friend who was willing to go to blows for you. I
don't know. Like I said, I'm doing my best to stay out of the way
and to not cause problems. This has already been more than my
fair share of drama. We're grownups here. We can do better
than going out of our way to create drama. I'm doing my best to
stay the hell out of it, but sometimes, it just drops itself on you...
or in this case, follows you home...
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| So I haven't posted in a while, but who can blame me? Apparently
it's important that I don't fail classes or something... Oh
well... I'm titling this episode:
THE SHIT HITS THE FAN... AGAIN!
Story of my life i guess... Oh well...
So, I seem to have managed to royally screw up all sorts of things in
my life lately. I forgot to turn in a very important Music Theory
Assignment. I'm four or five assignments behind on
Musicianship. i have a huge presentation due tomorrow (today) in
Vocal Methods on Vocal Jazz, which I know nothing about... Shit Hell...
Oh well... I'm fairly resigned to my fate at this point. I managed to let Phi Mu Alpha fold in songfest.... go me.
Caroline is fairly pissed at me... but what else is new....
I honestly don't know what to do with that one. I've known Katie
for a really long time. Longer than I dated Caroline. Since
Katie is Caroline's big in SAI, Caroline is offended that I spend too
much time with Katie, and she's probably right. The problem is
that I don't know what I can do to make things right. Katie is my
best female friend... probably ever. I don't wan't to just never
talk to her again, but at the same time, I did make some pretty harsh
demands about what Caroline was and was not allowed to do in my
house... oh well....
(noticed the defeatist attitude yet?)
I'm supposed to play in Musica Viva Tuesday... but that'll probably be
a bust.... I don't know the piece well enough yet to be amazing,
and well... I don't accept less than that, so I'm gonna be depressed
later.... oh wait. 
On a serious up note, Jazz Fest was this week and it was AMAZING!!!! We
played with Jerry Bergonzi who is an amazing Tenor Sax player. We
played a piece called Slide's Derangement, in which a bunch of us
soloed and got to trade fours with him. It was REALLY cool.
Katie took me as her date to the Pi Beta Phi formal on friday.
That was SWEET. I'm only 20 so I couldn't drink there, but
she gave me a rather sizable flask of cranberry vodka right before we
left, so that worked out well. That's right... I was drinking
'sprite' all evening. I didn't get trashed, but certainly loose
enough. I was actually out on the dance floor and not beeing a
stiff geek. it was great. the evening didn't end so well
though. We argued a bunch, but I don't really know what about
anymore. It was a really fun evening overall though.
Caroline seems to think I tried to keep it a secret from her that I was
going with Katie to formal, and that I had invited her to ours.
That is certainly not the case, but she doesn't seem to see it that
way. While I didn't go shouting HEY EVERYBODY! I'M GOING
WITH KATIE TO FORMAL I also didn't try to conceal it. We
talked about it in public social situations several times
beforehand. I didn't specifically tell her, but I didn't try to
keep it from her either. Why does it feel like she's trying
to cause trouble???? Oh Well.... (more resignation from me...)
Well it's time to get back to my Voice Methods Presentation.
PS- I found a really great streaming Jazz station I'm listening to
right now... it's 1dot4.fm They've played Coltrain, Parker,
Ellington, and Gillespie in the last 6 songs! I'm loving
it! Miles Davis is up next!
Peace Out
~JP~
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| So, I had a good long talk with Caroline the other day. It mostly
centered around me being untrust worthy and the scum of the earth, but
that's ok. She wanted a real apology from me because she didn't
think I'd even given her that. I felt I did, but then again, I
tend to believe myself when I talk. I'm gullible that way.
So I apologized anyways, and hopefully things will get better
now. If not, then I don't know, because I feel I've done
everything I can to be diplomatic and friendly about this, but I have
felt like I'm being stared down and backstabbed at every turn. I
don't know. It feels like she's being very two faced about
this. Whenever we talk, she seems to be frustrated that we even
need to talk, because there aren't problems really... just me being
stupid about things. Then my other friends come to me saying
things like 'did you hear what she told me about you? Is this
true?" I don't know. I know I've done my fair share of
crappy things in all of this, but I'm ready for us to both grow up and
move on. When I first broke up with her, it was because I was
horribly unsure of myself, and whether the relationship was right for
me at the time. In all of the resulting conflict, I have been
assured that I made the right decision, and that there isn't much
chance at all that I will ever go back on it. When you are in
love with someone, you see them for all their virtues, but when they've
given you a reason to no longer love them, you see them only for their
faults. I hope to find the middle ground. Oh well, I'm
making the effort on my end. The ball's in her court beyond
that. I can't make her treat me with respect, I can only show her
the respect I'd like returned to me.
~JP~
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